I feel so out of control lately. I feel so fucking HUGE.

Last night I had a dream about eating cake icing, straight from the can, just thinking about it now makes me want to throw up. I was so out of control in my dream, I remember feeling like I was going to puke and I didn't care I just kept going. Like I had no control over what my body was doing, it was just stuffing itself with that disgusting shit.

Now I feel like I'm going to have to work out like crazy to work that off even though it was just a dream and there is no way I could possibly gain from it.

I still feel ill. The only good thing about this nausea is that I don't want to eat again period.

I was watching Spirited Away last night and all I could think about was how thin Chihiro was. I know how stupid I am, I always feel so fat when ever I watch anime. They're so small, so skinny, I want to be that thin.

See Yububa? That's what I feel like all the time. See how fucking tiny Chihiro's thighs and arms are? I want that. I want to be that thin. I have to be that thin.